Watch What Happens When
by theatre4life
Summary: I cast TBOM characters into The Lion King and make them perform it. Randomness ensues! Rated T for language. Might makes other Watch What Happens fics...title inspired by the interview that Andrew Rannells did on Bravo's Watch What Happpens.
1. Casting Session and Randomness!

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own The Book of Mormon. Or the Book of Mormon. :)

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><p>Me: *pops up* Hope this goes through. SCRIPT FORMAT IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN DO THIS SO DON'T REPORT ME!<p>

Price: Oh, no.

Cunningham: Not YOU again!

Me: What did I ever do to you? All I ever did with you guys was mash you with the Avenue Q characters.

Church: Oh, and how did that work out? You quit after only one chapter. JERK.

Me: Be a man. Curse.

Church: NO!

McKinley: Just tell us what kind of terrible fate you're condemning us to.

Me: Glad you asked, Connor! Or Sean. Or Ryan. Or Lionel. Or Bob...

McKinley: SOMEONE NAMED ME BOB?

Everyone else: *tries their best to hold back laughter*

Me: Well...I'll just call you Connor since that's the name that I've been using for fics...After I saw a bunch of fics over at the Les Mis fandom, I decided to bring it here!

Thomas: And what was that? Giving us Pop-Tarts?

Price: *shakes head* Only you, Pop-Tarts. Only you.

Me: No, Pop-Tarts. NOOOO. Let me talk and don't interrupt. See, the people over at the Les Mis fandom are casting characters from Les Mis and putting them in other musicals. For example, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat with Enjolras as Joseph.

McKinley: *coughs*

Me: YES?

McKinley: Oh, nothing. *cough*weirdos*cough*

Me: Shut up, Connor. Anyway, I decided to do something similar to you guys! It'll be fun!

Mafala: Fun's not in my vocabulary.

Harris: I didn't even know you knew the word vocabulary.

Mafala: I'M NOT DUMB!

Me: Enough with the random interruptions, people! Okay...our show is...

*Drumrolls*

Me: The Lion King!

Price: THE LION KING! I LOVED THAT-Uh, I mean _uggggh_, The Lion King.

Me: *snickers*

McKinley: Shouldn't you really be doing your homework?

Me: Stop pestering me. So, casting. Simba will be Elder Price!

Price: Me...I...I...

Cunningham: Okay. So me and Connor will be Timon and Pumbaa? The redhead and the fat guy? You're so stereotypical.

Me: Well...it kind of fits you guys to be honest but if you're so mad about it then I'll put Connor as Simba and you and Kevin as Timon and Pumbaa and everyone will be super-duper happy with it...except for me...

Price: NO! I WANNA BE SIMBA!

Nabulungi: Kevin Price, forever the nine-year-old.

Price: Says the girl who can't pronounce "Salt Lake City" correctly.

Nabulungi: It's hard to pronounce! YOU try to be an African girl who only heard about Sal Tlay Ka Siti once in her entire lifetime!

Price: There it is!

Me: STOP PICKING ON EACH OTHER! Now...hmmm...Mafala will be Mufasa.

Thomas: Hey! That sounds the same!

Me: Yes...I know...Okay, anyway, Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed will be...uh...someone remind me some of the villagers' names?

Cunningham: Aren't you supposed to be a geek about us. Why do you not know their names?

Me: BECAUSE I DON'T ACTUALLY OWN THE SOUNDTRACK AND LYRIC BOOK SHEET THINGY, I BORROWED IT FROM THE LIBRARY AND BURNED THE DISC!

Asmeret: *eyes wide* You burned a disc?

Me: *smacks head* I forgot that you guys don't know a lot of our sayings. Burning a disc is basically...well...anyway, I remember Asmeret...okay, how about this? Asmeret as Shenzi, one of the guards as Banzai, and Mutumbo as Ed. Wait, scratch that, Gotswana.

Nabulungi: Which one?

Me: I don't know! Who do you guys want? It'll affect who Rafiki will be!

McKinley: YOU'RE CONSIDERING MUTUMBO OR GOTSWANA AS RAFIKI? THAT'S COMPLETELY RETARDED!

Me: There aren't that many main characters here!

McKinley: What about Joseph Smith or Moroni?

Me: I need people who are actually in the musical, not just in a scene where Kevin tries to pitch the Mormon religion to others.

Cunningham: Or telling me to stop making things up again.

Me: Right. Whatever. Guys, please tell me in the reviews who you want Rafiki to be, Gotswana or Mutumbo. The guy who doesn't get picked will be Ed.

Harris: Oh, joy. How many of the minor elders are you going to use in this?

Me: I'll probably put you guys in the background with other villagers who don't get cast as the African animals.

Harris: Nice.

Me: Okay. Anyway...you guys are probably going to love this...Nala will be played by Nabulungi.

Cunningham: Oh, no. You're going to confuse me even more.

Nabulungi: What? I have to do a love song with Kevin?

*They exchange a weirded out look*

Cunningham: WAIT...KEVIN HAS TO SING A LOVE SONG WITH MY GIRLFRIEND?

Thomas: Have you ever even watched The Lion King?

Cunningham: Yes, I have. Once or twice...my childhood was pretty much Star Wars and Star Trek...

Me: Let's move on before things get messy...okay, Zazu will be Elder Thomas. Sorry, I don't know your first name.

Thomas: I'm cool with that. Just call me Thomas. That's actually my name...

Price: Seriously? Thomas Thomas?

Thomas: *deadpan* Yes. Seriously. I had very original parents.

Me: Okay...Zazu will be Thomas...who am I missing?

Harris: Scar!

Me: Oh, right. _Scar_.

*Everyone looks nervously at me and General Butt F*cking Naked*

Me: Oy. I am going to regret this for the rest of my life. But there's no one else who can pull him off! So...General...you'll be Scar?

General (I'm shortening the name for this fic): Who the f*ck is Scar?

Price: Scar's an evil lion who kills his own brother and fakes his nephew's death to take the throne, the nephew being me...

General: *brightens up* Sounds like fun!

Cunningham: *whispering to Elder Harris* I didn't know that "fun" was in the General's vocabulary!

Harris: *whacks him*

Me: Am I missing anybody?

Church: Simba's mom?

Me: Kevin's mom.

Price: You can't just make my mom suddenly materialize out of thin air!

Me: *transports Kevin's Mom to Uganda*

Me: You can do anything in fanfiction.

Kevin's Mom: Where am I? What are you going to do to me?

Price: BRING MY MOM BACK TO SALT LAKE CITY, YOU ASSHOLE!

Me: Okay! Okay! *transports Kevin's Mom back to Salt Lake City*

Harris: Who's gonna play Sarafina now?

Cunningham: Remind me who Sarafina is?

Price: Simba's mom!

Cunningham: Oh. *Kevin gives him a hard glare* Hey, not everyone's a Disney nut around here!

Me: So...everyone else will be the other animals/hyenas/plants.

Church: PLANTS?

Me: Ask Julie Taymor. She's the genius who put dancing plants in "Can You Feel The Love Tonight."

McKinley: Actually, that genius is Garth Fagan.

Me: Right. Thanks. Anyway, as punishment for saying that, Elder Church, you're going to be one of those plants!

Church: NOOOO! HASA-

Cunningham: DON'T!

Me: Okay! Next time around, we're going to start with "Circle Of Life!" Once we find out who plays Rafiki anyway...

McKinley: Oh, joy. This is going to be fun. Mutumbo or Gotswana as Rafiki...that's a lose-lose situation either way.

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><p><strong>AN: **Okay! Tell me what you think in the reviews. And please tell me whether Gotswana or Mutumbo is a better funny and random choice for Rafiki. The other one will be Ed, as I've said...about...a million...times...in...this...fic...

BTW, Gotswana is the guy who repeatedly announces, "I HAVE MAGGOTS IN MY SCROTUM!" throughout the course of the musical.

Mutumbo is "that asshole who tried to rape a baby."

So, uh, yeah. Vote please!


	2. Nants' Ingonyama and Circle of Life

**DISCLAIMER:**** I DON'T OWN THE BOOK OF MORMON, OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM THE BOOK OF MORMON. THEREFORE, I AM NOT TREY, MATT, OR BOBBY. I'M A GIRL. JUST WANTED TO GET THAT ACROSS. :) Also, shoutout to Ophycal who reviewed last chapter! **

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><p>Me: I'm baaaaaaaaack!<p>

Price: Brace yourselves.

Me: Actually...I still don't know who the hell I'm casting as Rafiki and Ed.

Cunningham: Oh, man!

Me: You're actually looking forward to this?

Cunningham: Well...we don't appear until the end of Act 1...

Me: Okay, to kill time, here's a cast list:

(YOUNG) SIMBA - (YOUNG) ELDER PRICE

MUFASA - MAFALA

SCAR - GENERAL (you know who I'm talking about)

ZAZU - ELDER THOMAS

(YOUNG) NALA - (YOUNG) NABULUNGI

RAFIKI - ?

SHENZI - ASMERET

BANZAI - GUARD #1

ED - ?

TIMON - ELDER MCKINLEY

PUMBAA - ELDER CUNNINGHAM

ANIMALS/PLANTS/BACKGROUND DANCERS/ENSEMBLE - EVERYONE ELSE

HEAD PLANT - ELDER CHURCH

Church: WTF?

Me: Sorry, couldn't resist.

Harris: You are the strangest person I've ever met.

Me: I know that.

McKinley: *singing softly to himself to the tune of "I'm The Greatest Individual" from Sweet Charity* She's the strangest individual I have ever met...

Cunningham: *singing loudly and off-key* IT'S THE CIRCLE OF LIFE!

Everyone: *covers their ears*

Cunningham: Is my singing really that bad?

Church: Yes. Yes, it is, Arnold. (**A/N: I mean Elder Cunningham is a bad singer. NOT Josh Gad.)**

Harris: That was weird.

Me: It's called an author's note. Anyway...well, as I still can't decide on Rafiki and Ed, I'm just going to leave you guys alone. *starts to sing* FOR NOW...Elder McKinley, finish it.

McKinley: Um, okay...AND CALL ME CONNOR!

Me: Yeah. And I'll randomly start using the General's real name.

McKinley: You called me Connor at the beginning!

Me: FINE! Connor. Finish the song. PLEASE.

McKinley: *grins* Okee dokee! *starts to sing* FOR NOW...FOR NOW...ONLY FOR NOW! ONLY FOR NOW! ONLY FOR NOW!

*ABOUT 15,000 FOR NOWS LATER*

Me: I'm baaaaaaaackk...again!

Price: Okay. Time to get this over with.

Me: So, I decided to use Gotswana for Rafiki and Mutumbo for Ed. **(A/N: THANK YOU OPHYCAL! I HAD THE HARDEST TIME CHOOSING****...)**

Harris: More author notes?

Me: Yep. Okay, we're going to start with "Nants' Ingonyama!"

Neeley: Um...what is that?

Me: It's one of the chants used in the stage version of The Lion King.

Church: Confuzzled here...are we doing the movie or the musical?

Price: THE MUSICAL!

Everyone: *covers ears*

Nabulungi: Okay, so will everyone be covering their ears every chapter from now on?

Me: Maybe? Any chapter where Kevin yells or Arnold sings, you'll be covering your ears...

Cunningham: STOP PICKING ON ME AND JOSH GAD!

Me: I'm not making fun of Josh Gad, for the millionth time! I'M MAKING FUN OF YOU!

*Joseph Smith randomly pops in*

Joseph Smith: *sings to the tune of "Making Things Up Again"* You're making fun of him again, Mormon fan!

Me: Go back to where you belong, Joseph?

*Joseph Smith disappears*

Neeley: Remind me where he belongs?

Me: Don't mind that. So...here we go! Animals and Gotswana, start chanting!

*Gotswana has not spoken a word this entire time, remember...*

Gotswana: NO!

Me: Do it!

Gotswana: NO!

Me: Do it!

Gootswana: NO!

Everyone: *smothers laughter*

Gotswana: What?

Everyone: *is in hysterics*

Asmeret: She...she...she...*laughs weakly*

Gotswana: WHAT?

Mutumbo: She...SHE WROTE YOUR NAME AS GOOTSWANA!

Me: BY ACCIDENT! IT'S THE COMPUTER'S FAULT, NOT MINE!

McKinley: But you were the one who typed it!

Gotswana: You're...you're MEAN!

Me: Gods, you guys, you're acting like children!

Church: Um...Gods?

Me: Never mind me! WE'RE WASTING TIME!

Cunningham: At any rate, she's probably going to quit before she gets to "Hakuna Matata."

Me: NO I WON'T! GOTSWANA, SING! NOW! AND VILLAGERS, ELDERS, AND ELDER THOMAS, JOIN HIM AS THE OTHER ANIMALS FOR "NANTS' INGONYAMA" AND "CIRCLE OF LIFE!"

Gotswana: Fine! I'll sing! BUT DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH AT ME UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR ASS KICKED!

**Nants'ngonyama bakithi baba**

Villagers and Elders: **Sithi hu ngonyama**

Villagers: **Ngonyama nengweba**

Elders: **Ngonyama**

Harris: I'm an antelope? Grr...this just keeps getting better and better...

**Mai ba bo hi-ngonyama baba**

Gotswana: **Nants'ngoyama bakithi baba**

Villagers and Elders: **Sithi hu ngonyama **

Villagers: **Ngoyama nengweba**

Elders: **Ngonyama**

Church: **Haaaaaaa khuzani bo bhek'i ya galela...**Wait a second, why am I an antelope too-

Me: STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUR GIVEN ANIMALS AND GET ON WITH SINGING!

Church: *gives me a death glare*

Gotswana: **Nants'ngonyama bakithibaba**

Villagers and Elders: **Sithi hu ngoyama**

Gotswana: **He le le**

Villagers: **Ngonyama**

Gotswana: **Hoi yo sizo ngco**

Elders: **Ngonyama**

Gotswana: **Ba ba ba...le le le**

Villagers and Elders: **Ngonyama**

Gotswana: **Oh sizo ngco**

Villagers and Elders: **Ngonyama**

Rafiki: **Ingonyamanengwe nama bala**

Villagers and Elders: **Ingoyamanengwe nama bala**

**Ingonyamanengwe nama bala**

**Ingonyamanengwe nama bala**

**Ingonyamanengwe nama bala**

**Ingonyamanengwe nama bala**

**Ingonyamanengwe nama bala**

**Ingonyamanengwe nama bala**

Me: Okay, we're done with the chant! "Circle of Life," people!

Gotswana: But I'm tired!

Me: KEEP GOING!

Gotswana: *is still tired* My throat hurts...

**From the day we arrived on this planet**

**and blinking, stepped into the sun,**

**there is more to see than can ever be seen**

Price: You've got that right. I'm emotionally and religious scarred than I thought I'd be about coming here. That buffalo carcass was the last straw...*shudders*

Gotswana: **More to do than can ever be done**

Cunningham: I never thought that people would actually listen to me...

Gotswana: **There is far too much to take in here,**

**more to find than can ever be found**

McKinley: Too much to take in...that's when I started to turn it off...

Gotswana: **But the sun rolling high,**

**through the sapphire sky**

**keeps great and small on the endless round.**

Nabulungi: I bet there's a sapphire sky in Sal Tlay Ka Siti!

Everyone: *groans*

Gotswana: **It's the circle of life**

**And it moves us all**

**through despair and hope, through faith and love**

*Kevin, Connor, Arnold, and Nabulungi smile, hug, and start rocking back and forth to the beat of the music*

Gotswana: **Till we find our place**

**On the path unwinding**

Thomas: Too true, too true. We all did...

*The other elders join the Fab Four's group hug*

Price: Wait, Fab Four?

Me: Why not? You guys are fabulous, and you need a nickname. So you, Arnold, Connor, and Nabulungi are the Fabulous Four. Wow, I've never made up a group name for a fandom before! YAY!

McKinley: You get distracted easily.

Gotswana: AHEM! *awkward silence* Let me sing.

**In the circle, the circle of life**

Everyone: **It's the circle of life**

**and it moves us all**

**through despair and hope, ****through faith and love.**

**Till we find our place, on the path unwinding,**

**in the circle, the circle of life.**

Me: *wiping tears from my eyes* That song always makes me cry. So beautiful! THANK YOU ELTON JOHN AND TIM RICE! Even though Tim is currently fighting with Andrew Lloyd Webber over the whole "Superstar" issue...

Everyone: *collapses*

Me: Seriously? You're that tired?

Price: Well, the four of us aren't. And neither is the General, Asmeret, the guard, Mutumbo...

Me: I get it, I get it! Anyone who wasn't specified in the song isn't tired! By the way...where is that wonderful General tht we all know and love?

General: Right here!

Everyone: *turns around to see the General sitting on a pig trough*

Asmeret: Um...General...why are you sitting on a pig trough?

General: Don't ask me! Ask that asshole over there who decided to put me in a pig trough!

Me: I'm just the author! Don't blame me!

McKinley: Who originated that saying?

Me: Ummm...I forget. Whoever originated it, shoutout to you, too!

General: *gets out of the pig trough* DISGUSTING. SHIT. WHY?

Me: 'Cause you're mean to Kevin and Arnold!

Price: Thanks, but I really do not want the Book of Mormon shoved up my-

Me: Okay, we're done for now!

McKinley: *sings again* For now! For now! Only for now-

Me: *groans* Maybe I'll just quit it with all the references. Well, I'll decide in the next chapter.

Thomas: And by then you'll be putting in more references than ever. Pigfarts in there? PLEASE?

Me: *groans again* You'll see boys...you'll see. Anyway, next chapter, we're doing "The Morning Report!"

Price: That's the worst song in the whole musical!

Me: Shut up, Kevin. BTW...the person who can identify all the references in each chapter gets a virtual cookie! Bye all! *leaves*

McKinley: What is it with her and her obsession with virtual cookies?

Church: Who knows? I was put head plant, she's obsessed with plants too...

Everyone: WE KNOW! WE KNOW! SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THE HEAD PLANT ALREADY!

Church: OMGosh, you guys, I only mentioned it once...


End file.
